Jealousy Sucks

So BB and I had a talk Monday night and things are better than they were. In a nutshell he's not used to having someone interested in his life and i'm not used to wanting to know what's going on in someone's life. There are times when I feel like we don't connect, but when we do it's like we've known each other forever.

We talked for two hours, the first hour of course being about us and where this is going. Even though some of his friends are catching on, he still wants to categorize us as "friends." It's extremely frustrating for me. I've set a deadline for Labor Day, and if he doesn't have the paperwork in process for his divorce i'm calling it quits. I'm not asking him to call everyone up and say i'm his girlfriend. I'm also not going to run to the top of the tallest building and scream out "i'm going to have BB's babies! We're going to have beautiful biking children! Our firstborn will be named Lance!" EEEKS. I'm not ready for that whatsoever.

This weekend he went camping with a couple of friends. One of which I will call Buddy. Buddy goes biking with BB all the time. I swear they have a better relationship than we do. After they got back from camping/biking today, they were heading to the movies. I can't help but feel jealous, I haven't seen BB in over three weeks. It's killing me knowing that he's spending more time with Buddy than he ever will with me. BB has alot to do at his house, paperwork,etc. The moment Buddy calls, he's out the door going biking, movies, dinner - whatever mainly because he doesn't know when to say no and deal with his responsibilities. Thank god Buddy is going away to college in a few weeks, I am so excited. I can't believe i'm jealous of his friend. I never thought I would turn into jealous chick.

So he's coming to see me next weekend. BB would like us to go out on a real "date" and I hope we do. I think we need to backtrack and get to know each other better.